Niagara Falling in Love

Yesterday our group celebrated what has been a happy, summer-long marriage by honeymooning in Niagara Falls. Simply put, it was amazing. Forrest said, rather snarkily, "We're just going three hours out of our way to watch a bunch of water succumb to the force of gravity?" Fortunately, we all quickly succumbed to its charms. Those of us who felt brave (read: reckless) went on the "Maid of the Mist" right the heck up to the falls, and got absolutely drenched in the process. The trade-off was a sweet blue poncho that made me feel like a cross between Cookie Monster and a Rivendell reject. Beautiful scenery, a bizarre, Disneyland-like atmosphere, and delicious (if overpriced) hot dogs. What more could you want?

Tonight marks our last performance of this show, and it hasn't quite sunk in yet. I feel like we still have some stops on our tour. Of course, that could just be the impending sense of travel as Evan, Forrest, Lisa and I prepare to take the long trek back to the west coast.

We took a group photo before we went on the boat yesterday. We look slightly crazy and borderline exhausted. It's been one hell of a trip.

I become a T.V. star

Things I have seen thus far in London, Canada:
-A couple arguing with a cab driver
-A woman arguing with a man about how much time he had spent on the computer in the library (where I am now, actually)
-A man arguing with a woman about waiting in line to see a show
-A man arguing with his girlfriend on his cell phone about what he suspects is her cheating behavior ("Honey, you're wrong!" "You are a sexual flirter!" "Who the fuck is Dan?" "You're so secretive!" "It's funny, because you were suspicious of me!" etc.)
-A woman giving her baby beer

London is much livelier than I anticipated.

Our shows so far have been great--steadily increasing houses, great audiences, and good buzz on the street. Hopefully that trend continues after our stint on the London Morning Show this morning. Forrest was interviewed, and we did a short scene. I got to wear a mic pack (legitimacy!) and we all looked winsome and adorable on the monitor. Plus, the whole thing is sponsored by Tim Horton's (a chain, mostly Canadian, of coffee and donut places), so we got lots of free food. Pretty good deal, in my opinion.

This is our last festival, and I'm feeling a little wistful about it. It's been a great summer, for sure, and a learning experience even during the hardest times. We're packing in as much as we can this week: seeing other shows, planning on going to Niagara Falls sometime (like one huge honeymoon for our all-but-married group), exploring the city.

Sounds pretty good to me.

Going out on a bang

We performed for the last time in D.C. yesterday, and the show was slightly more eventful than usual. The details are unclear, but Forrest got a cut across the back of his head and a small puddle of blood ended up on the stage. He's fine, never fear--no stitches necessary. It did, however, explain why the end of the show received considerably fewer laughs than usual. Apparently we've moved beyond the days of the gladiators. On the bright side, we did see Dru and Stephen, who came to see our show. They suggested we keep the blood.

Today has been pretty ho-hum for everyone, consisting mostly of reading, wandering around, and eating things. I keep searching half-heartedly for the non-existant DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," convinced that since between our other group members we have movies number two, three and five, four is just hiding somewhere. Our collective ennui is sure to disappear once we head out again for our last fringe in London (Canada).

In other news, Evan and I invented an "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" drinking game: drink every time Willie is annoying. Girl Willie, not my dear Willie K.

One to go...

We have one more performance in D.C., this afternoon, as a matter of fact. I do love it here, being swaddled in the luxury of someone else's parents, but I think we're ready to move on to the last leg of our journey. London, y'all. London, Ontario, that is. I have a feeling that their penchant for "matchy-matchy" names (the Thames River, Covent Garden Market, etc.) is going to make me a) miss London, U.K. even more and b) probably speak in terrible R.P. to every poor sap on the street. Hey, they're asking for it.

I don't really have a lot else to add for the day, but I do have one minor pet peeve to rant about: The Sexy Facebook Picture. I can safely say that they are ridiculous and tend to make the subject look more conceited than appealing. I'm not naming names, but c'mon, people. Stop trying so hard. And yes, this is from the girl who is wearing a giant period wig and a corset in her own picture. SHAME.

To avoid ending on such a bitter, shriveled note, I must add a shout-out: Willie and Kevin, your blog gives me no end of joy. I read it and aspire to be as funny as you are. So sorry about your technical problems, but I'm glad you have excellent food and mediocre wine to cheer you up. And don't worry, I'm not just saying this to get out of mailing my rent check.

Mimosa post!

Things I love:

1) Mimosas!
2) Poorly written, largely inaccurate romance novels. We just started a little gem about a Seattle baseball team called, yes, the Rainiers. Never mind how the actual team may feel about that. It is awesome.

Today I experienced the wonder that is the Smithsonian zoo (I think it's named "Woodley Park," or something similar, making me feel eerily that I was in an alternate Seattle). I saw tigers, lions, and baby golden lion tamerins (tamorins? Tamarins? Tangerines?). I kid you not. It was life-changing. We went from that to the National Gallery, where I saw so much Monet and Degas that I actually cried a little.

I'm fairly certain I had more to say, but I kind of forgot it, so that'll be for another time. Rest assured that whoever you are, dear reader, I love you. Goodnight.

I think I'm kind of tired.

Actually, I know I am. Being a soon-to-be-recognized-internationally-famous-starlet is some pretty hard work, let me tell you. Probably the only person I am telling this to is my mom, who I know reads my blog. I love you, Mom.

Anyway. My occasional insomnia, which is apparently of the mindset that if it turns up every month in the matter of a period it will be welcomed with open arms, has indeed shown up again. Which leaves me sadly sprawled across my bed each night, wondering when the closet door will spring open by itself again (seriously, that happened multiple times). Fortunately I was able to sleep a little last night, and had dreams relatively untainted by...

..."The Dark Knight," which a bunch of us went to see last night. Fantastic movie, but whoa. Holy left hook, Batman, you sure beat some dudes up. Pretty much everyone gets hit, manhandled, or otherwise HORRIBLY MANGLED; even my girl Maggie Gyllllenhaaaalll gets a little roughed up. I do love me my Chris Nolan, but he does know how to make me go fetal in a movie theater seat faster than anyone else. Gary Oldman spends most of the movie looking worn, and I can't blame him. Dag.

I enjoy contrast in my life, and yesterday was just the day for it. Earlier, a bunch of us went to see the Jim Henson exhibit at the Smithsonian, and it was wonderful. We laughed, we oohed and ahhed, we even cried a little (very gently, fortunately for me--see former mention of "the ugly cry"). My personal favorite part was seeing Mahna Mahna, by far the most inspired puppet of all time. It was incredible.

So, on to today. We're off to publicize the last two performances we have in D.C., and rehearsing in preparation for Lisa's premiere in the show tomorrow night. After some thunderstorms this morning, things seemed to have (marginally) cooled off, so hopefully I won't just spontaneously combust on the streets this afternoon. And now, off I go.

Bye!

I feel famous.

Things I am Kind of Into Right Now:
-Other, More Successful Blogs. See: Go Fug Yourself, Fringe and Purge, Snakes and Belgium, etc. There are many funny people out there, with probably more interesting lives. And as long as I get to read about them, I am content.
-The A.V. Club. It wrote something snarky about our play the other day, which, as far as I'm concerned, launches us into the stratos of fame. Plus it gave me the surreal joy of seeing my group in print as I idly flipped through the Onion the other morning.
-The Smithsonian. Enough said.
-The DB-5 from "Goldfinger." Which I actually saw a working replica of the other day at the Spy Museum. I actually cried. People looked askance. Let them stare.
-History
-Being a Good Samaritan
-Air Conditioning.

Things I Could Do Without:
-Mosquitos and/or West Nile
-100 Degree Heat, Plus Humidity. Being constantly drenched in my own sweat does not do much for my self-esteem.
-The Drunk Ugly, or "Drugly." A condition I experience when I have imbibed perhaps a bit unwisely.
-Getting that George Washington song stuck in my head
-Sunburns
-Spending all my money on necessities (ice cream, smoothies, etc.)
-Wearing my black t-shirt EVER AGAIN. Apparently warm weather rejects hipsters. And no matter how hard you try, no one will ever find you ironic if you pass out on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

The aforementioned, perhaps undeservedly exaggerated sense of fame was increased by our performance on Saturday, which was extremely well-attended and amazing. After, Abby's parents had a party for us and their friends at a really nice place on Pennsylvania Avenue (so classy, it's only known by its address). We had nice cocktails, delicious food, and heard poetry recited to us in the square outside. From there we party-hopped to the home of some other Whitman people, who have apparently made their way into every major city. Despite a brief bout of the drugly, I made it home unscathed.

Today is Kate's last day in the country, and we are going to live it up accordingly. A trip to see the Muppet exhibit at the Smithsonian is in order, and after some "show business" (ha ha) (oh--that means taking some pictures and rehearsing) I think we're going to try to get into a showing of "The Dark Knight." I'm sure my witticisms and charming observations on that film will be forthcoming.

History Lessons

Last night Evan, Forrest and I spent several hours wandering around the national monuments in downtown Washington, D.C. This was, of course, after we had fortified ourselves with delicious food. We managed the centrally-located ones just fine: the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam and Korean War Memorials, the World War II Memorial. But, for some reason, the FDR Memorial and Jefferson Monument just evaded us. We wandered around by the river for what seemed like hours, only to end back up at the Lincoln Memorial every time. The serene expression on his face quickly started to look mocking to me.

We eventually did make it to the FDR Memorial, and were rewarded for our labor. It was dark by this point, and everything looked absolutely beautiful lit up at night. It may just be my favorite monument in D.C. By that point we had to book it back to the nearest metro, so we sadly just had time to wave at Jefferson's house as we cruised by. Another time, I hope.

Highlight of the evening: watching two squirrels furiously mating on the White House lawn. The only downside to this was that I pointed it out (loudly) just as a family with a number of small children walked by. Of course it immediately attracted the kids' attention, and judging from the pained look on the mother's face, it triggered a conversation she'd been hoping to put off for a few more years. Oops.

Reviews are in...

...and, generally speaking, people like our show. Even The Washington Post had pleasant things to say, which I would qualify as a big fat relief. Their semi-criticism, funnily enough, is that we look fresh out of our dorms. As we can't quickly age ourselves, I'll take this as a compliment to our youth and beauty. I'm feeling a little too lazy to post our other reviews up here right now, but if you Google us, I'm sure you'll be able to find something.

Bottom line: we pretty much rock.

So does the D.C. area, despite horrendous traffic, slow-moving public transportation, and heat strokes. I really like this place and the people here. This particular festival is huge, but our two shows so far have had good-sized crowds. We've begun to advertise with balloons and carefully selected quotes from our reviewers, so hopefully that'll bring in some more audience members.

Our little family suffered a hit here today as Lisa headed off to New York, leaving us to our own heartbroken devices. I'm guessing we'll probably be going into the city to sightsee at some point (or at least go back to "The World of Beer," a current favorite despite the unfortunate tendency of its patrons to select Jack Johnson on the jukebox. Say that ten times fast). I'm not feeling particularly well today, unfortunately, but that will soon pass. Goodness knows it's not from lack of rest, as I've been sleeping a minimum of eight hours every night. Maybe I'm just feeling wistfully romantic still from the 1940s radio drama we listened to on NPR last night. That couple was so in love...

P.S.

I realized I repeated a few things (or a lot of things, rather) in that last post. Please ignore this. Or put it down to exhaustion after performing, wandering in the sun, and half-heartedly going on the elliptical.

Capitol/Capital

My journey has brought me to Washington, D.C., or more specifically, Virginia. I left my Nathan on Wednesday morning, crying most un-romantically as I did so (I am not a pretty crier, as I think I have mentioned before). We're currently staying at Abby's beautiful house on the Potomac, which is very lovely, although sadly devoid of George Washington. Somehow I always expect to see him crossing when I look out the window. Our group had our first performance at this fringe today, which turned out to be pretty successful. We somehow managed to pull a pretty big house for our show, so hopefully word will spread from here. Plus we've been sending out lots of literature, so that should help.

I wish I had some charming or otherwise funny anecdote for this entry, but I really don't. Life has been pretty relaxed these past few days, despite the metro's multiple attempts to mess up my schedule. And, you know, the crushing heat. I expect more of interest will happen when I start adventuring around the city more.

I did see "Wall-E" again, and managed not to cry quite so much, although I did sigh loudly and sniff several times. I love Pixar.

That is all.

I'm officially an adult

...or at least I should probably be acting more like one. Ha--acting. As of Monday, I am 21 years old. My birthday was, to put it simply, awesome. I went shopping, had some amazing sushi with my loved ones from college and beyond, and had some delicious drinks. I also met up with some Whitman graduates totally by chance (hey Chris Smith!). By magic, the gentlemen with me procured cheesecake when I demanded it. Admittedly, I think they just found a place across the street from the bar we were at, but as I was drunk dialing my sister at the time (sorry, Erin) I thought we teleported. The waiters there were super nice, and gave me a candle on my cake and everything. My family sent me lovely cards and beautiful gifts, and I love all of them. It was a fantastic day.

I'm down in Washington, D.C. now, and reunited with the rest of my beautiful troupe. We're staying in Abby's house, which is absolutely beautiful and on the Potomac. Literally. I've been watching baby ospreys all day. They are lovely. Really, the only fly in my ointment is that I already miss Nathan terribly. We're unfortunately very used to this whole "leaving" thing, but it still hurts.

To Nathan: I love you.

To everyone else: I love you, too. Just, you know, not like THAT.

Highs and Lows

Very rarely do I fully lose my temper, but when I do, I am a thing to behold. By which I mean a very tired, very hungry two-year-old. Today I was brought to this point by the website for "Spring Awakening," believe it or not, when it wouldn't yield me the sweet rush tickets I so desperately needed. Fortunately, Nathan and I hauled ass down to the theatre (I mean hauled--we covered the space between our hotel and Times Square on foot, during the evening theatre rush, in less than twenty minutes) and managed to get reasonably priced tickets for tonight's performance.

Review: it rocked. I loved it. Totally made up for the frustration of earlier today. Though, sadly, not the persistent rain. Dag.

And that, actually, is about all I have to report at the moment. Today was relatively uneventful, due to the aforementioned rain and ticket crisis. Tomorrow we're planning on going to some more museums due to bad weather and the need for more art in our lives. I'll try to overhear something exciting to add to my list. Oh wait! I forgot that I had one for today!

Overheard in New York: Daniel Radcliffe edition.
Man Waiting in Line for "Spring Awakening," Talking to His Friends: "That guy from 'Harry Potter' is going to come do 'Equus' here. Apparently he goes full-frontal nude, and there's more than a mouthful there."

I couldn't end on a better note than that.

Stars and Stripes

This turned out to be one of the more eventful Fourth of Julys I have spent. Nathan and I spent the morning wandering around the southern end of Manhattan, near Wall Street. We stopped to rest near a fountain, and noticed that there were a lot of large trailers parked around. Barely had we started to wonder what they could be for when Hugh Laurie stepped out of one like, right next to us to take a cigarette break (from being awesome, I can only assume. It gets exhausting). He wandered into a building after that with a bunch of security and crew people. Our guess is that he was filming "House." Ahh!

Nathan and I watched the Macy's firework show with roughly all of New York City tonight down by the East River. It was awesome, to say the least. We almost couldn't see the fireworks by the end of the show, there was so much smoke. They were in unusual shapes, too. I've seen the smiley faces before, but cubes? I didn't even know explosions came in prisms.

The downside of the awesomeness was that, well, it was INSANELY CROWDED everywhere we went. I think I've shared sweat with about two thousand people today, give or take a baker's dozen. We managed to stay fairly bruise-and-grope free, although people around us got a little irritated. I heard two fights nearly break out in our near vicinity at different points during the day. And then, of course, there was the people watching.

Overheard in New York: Stereotype Edition
Man on Subway, Wearing Gold Chain and "Mr. Money" Ring: "And I was like, 'Homegirl, if you don't step off I'm going to slap you.'"

I love people. And the Fourth of July.

Three more days until my birthday...

Heat Struck

Today I learned the importance of the words "hydration" and "dehydration." Turns out that one of them is very, very bad indeed, and that I suffer from it. Which one? I'll give you a hint: I didn't drown recently. Worry not--I'm working on fixing that. The dehydration, not the drowning thing. Creepy.

Nathan and I went to the Central Park Zoo and saw everything there in record time. My personal favorites were the harbor seals, which are so fat they have trouble stopping themselves from rolling around on the rocks. One seal, Herbie, was feeling rebellious; instead of coming up to be fed by the keeper, he insisted upon spinning repeatedly in the water.

And now, Overheard in New York: Rich Bitch edition.

Girl on Fifth Avenue Outside a Jewelry Store, to her Mother: "My ring looks like this. Mom! Seriously, you need to get your hearing checked. God!"

Tonight, a happy coincidence of mother-networking led Nathan and I to the People's Improv Theatre, a really sweet, well, improv theatre in Manhattan. One of their members, in fact, is the actress who plays Mel on "Flight of the Conchords." Cool. We saw a two-man sketch show called "Fantasy Airlines," which was so good it nearly made up for a certain horrible "sketch comedy" show we may or may not have seen at some point in the recent past. One of the members of this particular duo looked rather like a slightly less dashing Kevin Moore (but who could match up to Kevin, that sly fox). They pointed out an interesting fact during the show: Jamaica is, in fact, an island in the ocean *coughEvancough*. They also said that in French. Someone in New York is apparently in on all of FWP's inside jokes, because immediately after that I saw a sign in a drug store that said "Wrap it Up!" It was actually next to the bath gel, which caused me some confusion. Maybe that's what New Yorkers are into.

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, for anyone who doesn't own a calendar or who, like me, forgets what day it is. Stephen, Nathan and I are planning on going to Battery Park for the fireworks show in the evening. During the day I'm planning on getting sunburned. Hooray!

An emotional roller coaster

Today was glorious, but almost more than my tiny, cold heart could handle. Too many cute puppies, too many amazing facts about the world, etc. To kick this entry off, I present the first in what may be many installments of "Overheard in New York." Today: Father and Son edition.

Father in Museum of Natural History, to Son: "See, you always hurt me with those snide comments and criticisms."
Son to Father: "Well, if you'd just listen..."

Different Father on Street, to Son: "When I make my first seventeen million, I'll give a dollar to you." *author's note: cheapskate.*

Nathan and I spent the vast majority of the afternoon (five hours, in fact) in the American Museum of Natural History. We attempted to see everything, for some reason, and were almost successful. Which means I now know just about all there is to know about the natural world. Or at least have an extensive knowledge of dioramas. Also, that one guy from every astronomy video ever was there, filming something else for either NOVA or another astronomy video. I forget his name, but he's the one who always comes on "The Colbert Report." Like, we just watched him last week. I walked through his video today, in fact. Oops.

The emotional roller coaster of the title refers to "Wall-E," which Nathan, Stephen and I saw tonight. I laughed. I gasped. I gazed in wonder. And, for large portions of the movie, I cried. Copious amounts. And I am not a pretty crier.

It was awesome. Everyone go see it.

Special awards today go to the fine people who put together the special "Horse" exhibit at the museum, the people at Pixar, and that one really cute dog I saw pooping on the sidewalk. Points deducted from the guy who almost killed me today when he abruptly stuck out his arm directly in front of my jugular to tap his friend on the other side of me. A-hole seems the appropriate term.

Nathan's addition: "Sarah is hot." I am not just making this up.

I dote on NYC.

"Dote" has apparently re-entered the lexicon in a most unexpected fashion: in girly-girl uptown slang. While walking down Fifth Avenue today, we overheard a blonde on a cell phone saying, "He's like, totally doting on her." Who knew.

To go back a step: I'm currently in New York City, during our one-week hiatus from Formerly Witty's world tour. Actually, I'm literally right across the street from the Empire State Building. This is where I am staying. I am not making this up. My boyfriend and I are being classy people for the week (or we're at least pretending). Hooray!

A special shout-out/gold star/medal of honor goes to my girl Evan Charles for driving me to the Ottawa airport at a truly thankless hour of the morning. I promise coffee and/or baked goods in return.

Nathan (the aforementioned b.f.) and I had a lovely day today, going up the Empire State Building, wandering around Times Square, and generally getting re-acquainted with the city (we've both visited before, but not for awhile). We also met up with Stephen, our friend who goes to NYU, and ate wonderful Indian food. I am loving this break.

Also, I saw a very sweet little dachshund puppy in the park this evening. Stephen and Nathan didn't find it as important as I did. But oh well.

To my Canadian friends: happy Canada Day!

To everyone else: happy day!

Home Stretch

We're nearly finished with our run of shows in Ottawa, and I have to say, I'm feeling a little wistful about it. I really like this city, and I'm kind of digging the life we've set up for ourselves here. I know the other runs will be just as awesome and inviting, but this one will have a special place in my heart as our first official Fringe stop.

On to the recap!

Yesterday was alarmingly hot, as well as thunder-y and lightning-filled. Fortunately, I didn't have to deal with any of it, and spent the majority of the day inside watching "Arrested Development" and trying to make my hair behave in the humidity. It politely declined. Our company spent the afternoon playing (or attempting to play) "Mall Madness," a truly magnificent example of consumerism being bottle-fed to our youth. I'm just bitter because Forrest totally beat all of us. It's not my fault the game's ATM wouldn't give Beth and I sweet, sweet cash.

We performed last night at 11 p.m., to a surprisingly large house of sixteen people. They all did an excellent job of laughing, which kept me going through the faintness brought on by the gigantic Baptista costume. By the end of the performance, we were all drenched in our own sweat. Or maybe that was just due to the Girl Talk dance party we had right before going on stage.

Today's our last full day off in Ottawa, which is a strange thought. We're going to cook dinner for Brenda, our hostess tonight, and a good time is expected all around. This has been a fantastic week, that's for sure.

Before I leave, a note: this is the first day I haven't had to swim through a sea of graduating seniors to get to the library. Ten points to Ottawa. And yes, I almost typed Gryffindor.

Evan, if you're reading this, read "Harry Potter."

Huh

I'm kind of back-and-forth on this whole "Ottawa" thing. The city is beautiful, don't get me wrong. It's just that it's, well, swelteringly hot. Although apparently I'm the only one in the group affected by it. It's not my fault that I'm a delicate northwest rhododendron blossom.

Yesterday we braved aforementioned heat to hand out ads for our show around Parliament Hill. This was actually pretty rockin', as I got to see not only Canadian parliament, but also the parliament cats. There is a colony of stray cats that lives in a little glen in tiny huts, cared for by an elderly gentleman known as the "Catman of Parliament Hill." I am not making this up.

What else to report? Not a lot, come to think of it. We saw "Die Roten Punkte" again the other night. I bought a t-shirt, Kate started a relationship with Otto (nice). I've seen a few more plays, handed out a few more postcards for our show, and had a few more drinks. Also, we finished our romance novel, which turned out to be even more insipid and sexist than I could have anticipated. Tonight we perform at 11 p.m. (gulp) to hopefully an audience of at least one (Lisa). We'll see how that goes.

Before I go, it bears mentioning that every single day I have come to the library, there has been either a prom or a graduation taking place outside. What gives?

THIS JUST IN

I know I literally just finished a blog, but look what Evan just found on the Ottawa Citizen website:

"Sly Work a Laugh-Fest
Imagine a cast of actors who seem to have just escaped from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and then find themselves trying to perform a totally slapstick version of The Taming of the Shrew. The result is On The Sly by Formerly Witty Productions of Walla Walla, Washington.
The plot is totally ridiculous. But don't be put off. On The Sly is like a misbehaving but lovable child.
The play opens as a drunk man accidentally wanders into the home of a rich, eccentric lady. She decides to have some fun with the uninvited guest and soon manipulates him into starring, alongside a wandering troupe of actors, in a wicked re-imagining of The Taming of the Shrew.
The six actors have more energy than a room full of two-year-olds. Their actions are totally juvenile and downright silly. But only a mean old sourpuss could watch this little comedy and not die laughing.
On The Sly continues at Alumni Auditorium until Sunday."

First. Professional. Review.

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sweet Honeypie

According to Kate, that is my stripper name. I have to say, I'm flattered, as it not only implies that I am sweet, but also is very close to a Beatles song. If my parents are reading this, don't worry--this is purely a hypothetical title. We're not quite that strapped for cash yet. Actually, apparently the Loony is folding under the mighty George "Rockin'" Washington Sweet Dollar Bill (official name) once more, so that's, you know, cool.

Anyway.

One of the beautiful things about the fringe circuit is that you can see all kinds of theatre, with varying degrees of success. I saw one show the other day that made me so upset I rocked in the fetal position and muttered to myself. It was supposed to be a comedy. But for every crisis of humor, there is a glorious one-man show, like the one I saw last night, entitled "Boatload." This guy was seriously talented. He played the most convincing cat I've ever seen on stage. His show was sweet, funny, fast-paced, and extremely touching. Beth even cried. I think this concerned him a little as he talked to us after the show. We assured him it meant she loved it.

I have been a sadly remiss blogger, adoring public. I have neglected to mention the most important thing to come into my life this summer: the romance novel. Desperate for a way to pass the time through the lonely, wind-whistled plains of Montana (no, I will never stop talking about how weird it is), someone in our group purchased a gem entitled, "Virgin Slave, Barbarian King." Being all unusually gifted in the art of loving to hear our own voices, we started taking turns reading it out loud. And promptly became hooked. The tale of Julia, the sheltered Roman beauty, and Wulfric, the Visigoth warlord with the heart of gold, was not enough for us. Now we've moved onto "Under the Italian's Command" (or maybe "Under the Command of the Italian," it doesn't really matter), a truly masterful concoction of misogyny and mixed metaphors. We all love reading accents. And lest you think that only the women in the group participate, let me assure you, Forrest and Evan love our evening readings as well. Evan in particular gets way into the accents.

It's supposed to be 90 degrees here today. Although I'm not sure if that means celsius or not. Either way, I'll try my best to stay cool.

Well, cooler than I already am. Ha.

Whoa

It's been one full week since I have blogged, and all I can say is, hold on to your hats, adoring public. I have got some serious ground to cover (not an exaggeration--I crossed the United States by car this week) and about half-an-hour on my library internet card to do it. REVIEW SESSION GO!

On Tuesday we set out, intrepid reverse-pioneers, to drive from Walla Walla (in the south-eastern corner of Washington state) to Ottawa (the capital of Canda, way the heck up near the Detroit-ish area) in three days. I am not in any way, shape, or form joking about this. We were all business. Here's how the week went down:

Tuesday: we covered Washington, Idaho, Montana (SO HUGE), Wyoming and South Dakota. Montana in particular sapped my will to live. Once you pass the continental divide, it's all downhill. We're making jokes in this blog...We stopped in Rapid (Rapids?) City for the night, by which I mean six hours, and tried to sleep as much as we could despite the road-induced hallucinations.

Wednesday: somehow we all dragged ourselves out of bed and back into the car, to go through more of South Dakota (bison!), Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois. Evan discovered the weirdest food in the world at a rest-stop: nacho flavored Slim Jims. We stayed in Becca's apartment in Chicago for the night, which felt a little surreal. Well, more surreal than the rest of the trip felt.

Thursday: I found myself blinking up at Wrigley Field in the early morning sunshine, dazed, confused, and somewhat unaware of my surroundings, as we cruised out of Illinois, through Indiana, and into Michigan. I have now seen two (TWO) great lakes, which is kind of awesome. They're the sort of thing that my mind stops being able to comprehend after awhile. Then, after sitting on a hecka high suspension bridge over the middle of Lake Huron for about an hour (Mom would've loved it) we got through customs. Or, we kind of did. We had to go present ourselves at Canadian immigrations to get visitors passes, since we are (hopefully) making money in their fair country.

The road trip was actually really fun, considering. No one got hurt, no one really even got mad at each other, and we only went slightly crazy that first night (I blame Montana's vast, untamed plains). We were, however, slightly disappointed that Canada looked exactly like the boring part of the U.S. we had just left. It got a little more exciting, in the bad sense of the word, when we rolled through Toronto at rush hour. I can only hope that that was rush hour, otherwise Toronto traffic just full-out sucks. People were driving on the shoulder, cutting each other off, swerving dangerously...all at generally high speeds, but who can tell? They use "kilometers" here.

After surviving Toronto, we breezed into Ottawa with relatively little difficulty. We're actually staying in Nepear, a nearby suburb. Our hostess, Brenda, is amazing--she is essentially giving us the run of her house, and seems to think we're pretty cool. Ottawa itself is really, really pretty. It feels very European, only without quite the health hazards of crossing the street. I'm getting some pretty good review on my French as well.

The Ottawa Fringe...where to even begin? I had no idea any one community could be this supportive of artists. Everyone here gets really into the festival, and with surprisingly little effort on our part, we have had large crowds to our three performances thus far. We've gotten really great feedback from audience members and other performers, and it's been a great experience. We're seeing lots of other theatre too, some of it more successful than others. My personal favorite thus far is definitely "Die Roten Punkte--Super Musikant," a hilarious punk-rock parody concert about a German brother-and-sister rock band. Forrest, Abby, Evan and I stayed up way past our bedtime last night to catch their 11 p.m. performance, and it was totally worth it. The whole crowd was made up of other fringe performers, and we all went kind of nuts. Fantastic.

So, on to the next thing. We have three days off (woo!), which means I'm going to spend some time exploring the city and seeing as much theatre as I can. On Thursday night we have an 11 p.m. performance that possibly no one will show up to, but that's okay. We'll at least have Lisa, who is threatening to heckle us if that is the case. We perform once more on Saturday afternoon, and then on Sunday we're driving out to Wakefield for Piggyback Fringe, a new festival.

I probably had a lot more to say, but I think this blog is sufficiently lengthy. That's what she said.

And to Erin, my lovely older sister: congratulations on the new job!

Home, sweet home...

...by which I mean Walla Walla. We returned to our home (or college) place (not College Place, v. important to note) to do another pay-what-you-can show for the community. It was lovely and perfect in Pioneer Park: the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the people were very, very kind and eager to laugh. Wonderful. We had an extremely successful performance, despite the small patches of mud amidst the grass, and my graceless ripping out of the entire hem of the "Bianca" dress. Oops. I would, however, like to note that I somehow stayed in character when two extremely cute beagles wandered by. Puppies!

Tomorrow morning we set out very early (6 a.m., which as far as I'm concerned doesn't exist) to drive to hopefully somewhere in the Dakotas. I might be out of internet range, so this could be my last posting for awhile. I'll report on all of our road adventures through the rugged wilds of Montana as soon as I can.

Unless, of course, we run out of gas somewhere in the Badlands. Hopefully someone in our group is a deft hand at mustang-ropin', because I'm pretty out of practice.

U.S./Canada relations

The wonderful thing about this blog is that it almost writes itself. Seriously. I swear I don't make anything up that goes in here, and thus far I haven't even exaggerated for comedic effect. This weekend provided ample fodder, to the extent that I'll probably forget about half of it before this entry is through. Let's see if I can at least hit the high points.

This weekend we made our first of three excursions into Canada to perform in Abbotsford, B.C. Problem number one occurred with the suspicious border control officer figured out we were artists, planning on acting for (hopefully) money. He let us through the border, but only with some stern looks. After some driving around the, quite frankly, confusing streets of the city, we found the auditorium where we were scheduled to perform the next night. We also met up with our hostess for the weekend, Judith--the nicest woman ever, with the coolest family to boot. They also have a cat named Sweet Pea, who handled our pet-starved fascination with her with surprising grace. To everyone: thanks for the hospitality!

Something I tend to forget about acting in real festivals in the real world is that I'm kind of a baby. Actually, our whole troop are kind of babies, when compared to the medium age of performers on the fringe circuit. This is cool, since one of my passions is getting youth inspired to take part in art (rhyme!). I remembered this, though, when we started attracting a lot of attention in the relatively small community of this festival. Comments like, "You put your hair in curlers? Wow!" suddenly seemed sinister (alliteration!). The people talking to us were simply trying to be nice and put us at ease; I'm just suspicious, awkward, and self-conscious--a fantastic triple threat, especially in theatre. Our youth also attracted the attention of Jason, a very kind, very talkative older gentleman who was possibly very slightly unstable. He talked to us for hours, both before and after our show. Actually during, too.

My favorite things about Jason:
-He argued with Abby about United States history
-He has stories about everyone in show business, especially Jason Priestley
-He tried to come into our dressing room while we were changing, causing the girls to all but throw Forrest at him in a panic in order to distract him
-He used to play Benjamin Franklin at Disney World, which is controlled, as he darkly says, by "The Mouse"

The show itself went pretty well, despite the small house. My dad, bless him, laughed throughout the whole thing, much to my relief. I was worried that the small numbers would equal small audience response, but people seemed to dig it. The kids at least thought it was fun. Afterwards we all went to Red Robin and caroused at several different tables (the poor seating hostess turned pale when we said we had sixteen in our party). It was really good to see my family, especially since I'd been feeling rather weepy and out of place lately.

Today we crossed back into the U.S. with ease, and The Hulk started back to Walla Walla well ahead of Eddy the Prius. Along the way, we (Beth, Kate, Lisa and I) started listening to "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" on Lisa's iPod. Twelve chapters into the narrative, we suddenly realized we had no idea where we were. We turned on Mandy (the GPS), only to discover that we were in George, Washington (a real place), and at least two hours outside of Walla Walla. Despite intense wracking of our brains, we have no idea how or when that happened. I blame Jim Dale.

Long story short: we made it safely back to Walla Walla and the sweet comforts of the Danger Zone (my off-campus house). And now, to sleep.

Goodnight.

Opening Night

Last night, an incredibly lucky audience (and considerably larger than most of us had anticipated) saw the English-language premiere of "On the Sly." There was laughter, there were tears, we hope from laughter, and applause. And some sweet money to fund our crazy road trip across this country and parts of Canada.

There are definitely times when I take a step back from my life, re-evaluate, and think, "What in God's name am I doing?" These moments usually occur when I'm gluing a wig to my head in a dressing room, or thinking too intently about my willing center. Or doing any sort of super-intense vocal warm-up. Fortunately, things come back into focus after performances like the one we had last night. I remembered the simple truth: that actors act simply because they can't help it. It's in their blood. As long as someone is there to watch, they perform.

Also, nothing is more gratifying than getting a laugh. Tcha.

Questing

My friends and I regularly rehearse (or attempt to, depending on the weather) in various parks around Portland. Since the Almighty has deemed it doth rain here, we spend a lot of time driving around in our minivan, or "The Hulk." It's green. During one of these drives the other day, we all began absent-mindedly humming the "Indiana Jones" theme.

Noticing a man jogging by himself on the side of the road, I said, "Hey, let's sing it to him to encourage him!" So we did. And the trend stuck. Somewhere in the past five days we've decided that it's our quest to:

a) Sing the "Indiana Jones" theme to anyone along the side of any road, anywhere, at any time, and

b) Find the person who will respond in ecstasy, crying out, "I AM Indiana Jones! Toss me my hat and bullwhip!" At which point we will.

So far, success has been minimal. Sometimes people look at us in confusion, which isn't quite the same thing. Baby steps. Baby steps.

A sudden dose of reality

I awoke gently this morning, much in the manner of a Disney princess, if you substitute shoulder pain and nightmares for squirrels and bluebirds attending me, to wonderful sunshine outside my window. Cautiously I ventured outside, convinced that the overwhelming gloom of the past week had turned me into some sort of photo-sensitive creature (vampire?) who would immediately burst into flames. Obviously I didn't. Instead I went and got a muffin and some coffee and pretended I was back in Europe. Watching Austria play Croatia in round one of the Euro Cup helped.

I may actually be able to get through rehearsal today without shivering from cold. Fingers crossed.

June-uary

I stole the title of this blog from one of my fellow actors. Pretty good, right? And, sadly, pretty apt. Portland is freezing cold and windy at the moment, much to my misery, since I definitely didn't pack for this sort of thing. I have been living in the same pair of jeans for approximately one week, which means that I probably smell pretty bad. I shower daily and tell myself I am being bohemian.

As for the play itself, it seems to be progressing nicely. Hopefully people who truly love us (hint, hint) will come see us perform. Getting some sort of financial compensation would be nice, although one must never underestimate the value of solid experience.

I think it would kind of rock to be Holly Golightly. Not the whole married-to-an-old-dude-at-thirteen-and-being-deeply-damaged thing, but the whole look-at-my-awesome-clothes-and-carefree-lifestyle-and-hot-writer-lover thing. In other words, I've been wanting my life to be a movie lately. At least then I'd have a soundtrack to tell me what to do next.

That seems like an appropriately moody note to end on.

Some people shouldn't drive

The first thing to know when reading this post: I'm currently living a nomadic existence with a theatre group, going to fringe festivals around the country (and in Canada, to boot). The second thing to know: we get from place to place in a large minivan (ironically).

So. We attempted to leave for rehearsal yesterday, only to find that someone had parked diagonally across the end of the driveway. Not only that, but their driver side door was left ajar, and the keys were in the ignition. Since the car was a white Mercedes SUV-type thing, I can only assume they had cash to burn and were just looking for an excuse to buy their next ride. I.E. someone stealing their current one. The owner wasn't completely without a heart or mind, however, as they had left a small space that someone potentially in a golf cart could get through. We attempted several strange moves, my favorite being completely turning the van around in the driveway, before giving up. We left a mean note on the windshield of the car and took our other friend's that was parked across the street instead.

Also, my friends and I had a dildo waved at us from a moving car the other night. I thought it was funny more than anything else. The others were not so amused. Maybe something even odder will be waved at me tonight. One can only hope.