Going out on a bang

We performed for the last time in D.C. yesterday, and the show was slightly more eventful than usual. The details are unclear, but Forrest got a cut across the back of his head and a small puddle of blood ended up on the stage. He's fine, never fear--no stitches necessary. It did, however, explain why the end of the show received considerably fewer laughs than usual. Apparently we've moved beyond the days of the gladiators. On the bright side, we did see Dru and Stephen, who came to see our show. They suggested we keep the blood.

Today has been pretty ho-hum for everyone, consisting mostly of reading, wandering around, and eating things. I keep searching half-heartedly for the non-existant DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," convinced that since between our other group members we have movies number two, three and five, four is just hiding somewhere. Our collective ennui is sure to disappear once we head out again for our last fringe in London (Canada).

In other news, Evan and I invented an "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" drinking game: drink every time Willie is annoying. Girl Willie, not my dear Willie K.

One to go...

We have one more performance in D.C., this afternoon, as a matter of fact. I do love it here, being swaddled in the luxury of someone else's parents, but I think we're ready to move on to the last leg of our journey. London, y'all. London, Ontario, that is. I have a feeling that their penchant for "matchy-matchy" names (the Thames River, Covent Garden Market, etc.) is going to make me a) miss London, U.K. even more and b) probably speak in terrible R.P. to every poor sap on the street. Hey, they're asking for it.

I don't really have a lot else to add for the day, but I do have one minor pet peeve to rant about: The Sexy Facebook Picture. I can safely say that they are ridiculous and tend to make the subject look more conceited than appealing. I'm not naming names, but c'mon, people. Stop trying so hard. And yes, this is from the girl who is wearing a giant period wig and a corset in her own picture. SHAME.

To avoid ending on such a bitter, shriveled note, I must add a shout-out: Willie and Kevin, your blog gives me no end of joy. I read it and aspire to be as funny as you are. So sorry about your technical problems, but I'm glad you have excellent food and mediocre wine to cheer you up. And don't worry, I'm not just saying this to get out of mailing my rent check.

Mimosa post!

Things I love:

1) Mimosas!
2) Poorly written, largely inaccurate romance novels. We just started a little gem about a Seattle baseball team called, yes, the Rainiers. Never mind how the actual team may feel about that. It is awesome.

Today I experienced the wonder that is the Smithsonian zoo (I think it's named "Woodley Park," or something similar, making me feel eerily that I was in an alternate Seattle). I saw tigers, lions, and baby golden lion tamerins (tamorins? Tamarins? Tangerines?). I kid you not. It was life-changing. We went from that to the National Gallery, where I saw so much Monet and Degas that I actually cried a little.

I'm fairly certain I had more to say, but I kind of forgot it, so that'll be for another time. Rest assured that whoever you are, dear reader, I love you. Goodnight.

I think I'm kind of tired.

Actually, I know I am. Being a soon-to-be-recognized-internationally-famous-starlet is some pretty hard work, let me tell you. Probably the only person I am telling this to is my mom, who I know reads my blog. I love you, Mom.

Anyway. My occasional insomnia, which is apparently of the mindset that if it turns up every month in the matter of a period it will be welcomed with open arms, has indeed shown up again. Which leaves me sadly sprawled across my bed each night, wondering when the closet door will spring open by itself again (seriously, that happened multiple times). Fortunately I was able to sleep a little last night, and had dreams relatively untainted by...

..."The Dark Knight," which a bunch of us went to see last night. Fantastic movie, but whoa. Holy left hook, Batman, you sure beat some dudes up. Pretty much everyone gets hit, manhandled, or otherwise HORRIBLY MANGLED; even my girl Maggie Gyllllenhaaaalll gets a little roughed up. I do love me my Chris Nolan, but he does know how to make me go fetal in a movie theater seat faster than anyone else. Gary Oldman spends most of the movie looking worn, and I can't blame him. Dag.

I enjoy contrast in my life, and yesterday was just the day for it. Earlier, a bunch of us went to see the Jim Henson exhibit at the Smithsonian, and it was wonderful. We laughed, we oohed and ahhed, we even cried a little (very gently, fortunately for me--see former mention of "the ugly cry"). My personal favorite part was seeing Mahna Mahna, by far the most inspired puppet of all time. It was incredible.

So, on to today. We're off to publicize the last two performances we have in D.C., and rehearsing in preparation for Lisa's premiere in the show tomorrow night. After some thunderstorms this morning, things seemed to have (marginally) cooled off, so hopefully I won't just spontaneously combust on the streets this afternoon. And now, off I go.

Bye!

I feel famous.

Things I am Kind of Into Right Now:
-Other, More Successful Blogs. See: Go Fug Yourself, Fringe and Purge, Snakes and Belgium, etc. There are many funny people out there, with probably more interesting lives. And as long as I get to read about them, I am content.
-The A.V. Club. It wrote something snarky about our play the other day, which, as far as I'm concerned, launches us into the stratos of fame. Plus it gave me the surreal joy of seeing my group in print as I idly flipped through the Onion the other morning.
-The Smithsonian. Enough said.
-The DB-5 from "Goldfinger." Which I actually saw a working replica of the other day at the Spy Museum. I actually cried. People looked askance. Let them stare.
-History
-Being a Good Samaritan
-Air Conditioning.

Things I Could Do Without:
-Mosquitos and/or West Nile
-100 Degree Heat, Plus Humidity. Being constantly drenched in my own sweat does not do much for my self-esteem.
-The Drunk Ugly, or "Drugly." A condition I experience when I have imbibed perhaps a bit unwisely.
-Getting that George Washington song stuck in my head
-Sunburns
-Spending all my money on necessities (ice cream, smoothies, etc.)
-Wearing my black t-shirt EVER AGAIN. Apparently warm weather rejects hipsters. And no matter how hard you try, no one will ever find you ironic if you pass out on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

The aforementioned, perhaps undeservedly exaggerated sense of fame was increased by our performance on Saturday, which was extremely well-attended and amazing. After, Abby's parents had a party for us and their friends at a really nice place on Pennsylvania Avenue (so classy, it's only known by its address). We had nice cocktails, delicious food, and heard poetry recited to us in the square outside. From there we party-hopped to the home of some other Whitman people, who have apparently made their way into every major city. Despite a brief bout of the drugly, I made it home unscathed.

Today is Kate's last day in the country, and we are going to live it up accordingly. A trip to see the Muppet exhibit at the Smithsonian is in order, and after some "show business" (ha ha) (oh--that means taking some pictures and rehearsing) I think we're going to try to get into a showing of "The Dark Knight." I'm sure my witticisms and charming observations on that film will be forthcoming.

History Lessons

Last night Evan, Forrest and I spent several hours wandering around the national monuments in downtown Washington, D.C. This was, of course, after we had fortified ourselves with delicious food. We managed the centrally-located ones just fine: the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam and Korean War Memorials, the World War II Memorial. But, for some reason, the FDR Memorial and Jefferson Monument just evaded us. We wandered around by the river for what seemed like hours, only to end back up at the Lincoln Memorial every time. The serene expression on his face quickly started to look mocking to me.

We eventually did make it to the FDR Memorial, and were rewarded for our labor. It was dark by this point, and everything looked absolutely beautiful lit up at night. It may just be my favorite monument in D.C. By that point we had to book it back to the nearest metro, so we sadly just had time to wave at Jefferson's house as we cruised by. Another time, I hope.

Highlight of the evening: watching two squirrels furiously mating on the White House lawn. The only downside to this was that I pointed it out (loudly) just as a family with a number of small children walked by. Of course it immediately attracted the kids' attention, and judging from the pained look on the mother's face, it triggered a conversation she'd been hoping to put off for a few more years. Oops.

Reviews are in...

...and, generally speaking, people like our show. Even The Washington Post had pleasant things to say, which I would qualify as a big fat relief. Their semi-criticism, funnily enough, is that we look fresh out of our dorms. As we can't quickly age ourselves, I'll take this as a compliment to our youth and beauty. I'm feeling a little too lazy to post our other reviews up here right now, but if you Google us, I'm sure you'll be able to find something.

Bottom line: we pretty much rock.

So does the D.C. area, despite horrendous traffic, slow-moving public transportation, and heat strokes. I really like this place and the people here. This particular festival is huge, but our two shows so far have had good-sized crowds. We've begun to advertise with balloons and carefully selected quotes from our reviewers, so hopefully that'll bring in some more audience members.

Our little family suffered a hit here today as Lisa headed off to New York, leaving us to our own heartbroken devices. I'm guessing we'll probably be going into the city to sightsee at some point (or at least go back to "The World of Beer," a current favorite despite the unfortunate tendency of its patrons to select Jack Johnson on the jukebox. Say that ten times fast). I'm not feeling particularly well today, unfortunately, but that will soon pass. Goodness knows it's not from lack of rest, as I've been sleeping a minimum of eight hours every night. Maybe I'm just feeling wistfully romantic still from the 1940s radio drama we listened to on NPR last night. That couple was so in love...

P.S.

I realized I repeated a few things (or a lot of things, rather) in that last post. Please ignore this. Or put it down to exhaustion after performing, wandering in the sun, and half-heartedly going on the elliptical.

Capitol/Capital

My journey has brought me to Washington, D.C., or more specifically, Virginia. I left my Nathan on Wednesday morning, crying most un-romantically as I did so (I am not a pretty crier, as I think I have mentioned before). We're currently staying at Abby's beautiful house on the Potomac, which is very lovely, although sadly devoid of George Washington. Somehow I always expect to see him crossing when I look out the window. Our group had our first performance at this fringe today, which turned out to be pretty successful. We somehow managed to pull a pretty big house for our show, so hopefully word will spread from here. Plus we've been sending out lots of literature, so that should help.

I wish I had some charming or otherwise funny anecdote for this entry, but I really don't. Life has been pretty relaxed these past few days, despite the metro's multiple attempts to mess up my schedule. And, you know, the crushing heat. I expect more of interest will happen when I start adventuring around the city more.

I did see "Wall-E" again, and managed not to cry quite so much, although I did sigh loudly and sniff several times. I love Pixar.

That is all.

I'm officially an adult

...or at least I should probably be acting more like one. Ha--acting. As of Monday, I am 21 years old. My birthday was, to put it simply, awesome. I went shopping, had some amazing sushi with my loved ones from college and beyond, and had some delicious drinks. I also met up with some Whitman graduates totally by chance (hey Chris Smith!). By magic, the gentlemen with me procured cheesecake when I demanded it. Admittedly, I think they just found a place across the street from the bar we were at, but as I was drunk dialing my sister at the time (sorry, Erin) I thought we teleported. The waiters there were super nice, and gave me a candle on my cake and everything. My family sent me lovely cards and beautiful gifts, and I love all of them. It was a fantastic day.

I'm down in Washington, D.C. now, and reunited with the rest of my beautiful troupe. We're staying in Abby's house, which is absolutely beautiful and on the Potomac. Literally. I've been watching baby ospreys all day. They are lovely. Really, the only fly in my ointment is that I already miss Nathan terribly. We're unfortunately very used to this whole "leaving" thing, but it still hurts.

To Nathan: I love you.

To everyone else: I love you, too. Just, you know, not like THAT.

Highs and Lows

Very rarely do I fully lose my temper, but when I do, I am a thing to behold. By which I mean a very tired, very hungry two-year-old. Today I was brought to this point by the website for "Spring Awakening," believe it or not, when it wouldn't yield me the sweet rush tickets I so desperately needed. Fortunately, Nathan and I hauled ass down to the theatre (I mean hauled--we covered the space between our hotel and Times Square on foot, during the evening theatre rush, in less than twenty minutes) and managed to get reasonably priced tickets for tonight's performance.

Review: it rocked. I loved it. Totally made up for the frustration of earlier today. Though, sadly, not the persistent rain. Dag.

And that, actually, is about all I have to report at the moment. Today was relatively uneventful, due to the aforementioned rain and ticket crisis. Tomorrow we're planning on going to some more museums due to bad weather and the need for more art in our lives. I'll try to overhear something exciting to add to my list. Oh wait! I forgot that I had one for today!

Overheard in New York: Daniel Radcliffe edition.
Man Waiting in Line for "Spring Awakening," Talking to His Friends: "That guy from 'Harry Potter' is going to come do 'Equus' here. Apparently he goes full-frontal nude, and there's more than a mouthful there."

I couldn't end on a better note than that.

Stars and Stripes

This turned out to be one of the more eventful Fourth of Julys I have spent. Nathan and I spent the morning wandering around the southern end of Manhattan, near Wall Street. We stopped to rest near a fountain, and noticed that there were a lot of large trailers parked around. Barely had we started to wonder what they could be for when Hugh Laurie stepped out of one like, right next to us to take a cigarette break (from being awesome, I can only assume. It gets exhausting). He wandered into a building after that with a bunch of security and crew people. Our guess is that he was filming "House." Ahh!

Nathan and I watched the Macy's firework show with roughly all of New York City tonight down by the East River. It was awesome, to say the least. We almost couldn't see the fireworks by the end of the show, there was so much smoke. They were in unusual shapes, too. I've seen the smiley faces before, but cubes? I didn't even know explosions came in prisms.

The downside of the awesomeness was that, well, it was INSANELY CROWDED everywhere we went. I think I've shared sweat with about two thousand people today, give or take a baker's dozen. We managed to stay fairly bruise-and-grope free, although people around us got a little irritated. I heard two fights nearly break out in our near vicinity at different points during the day. And then, of course, there was the people watching.

Overheard in New York: Stereotype Edition
Man on Subway, Wearing Gold Chain and "Mr. Money" Ring: "And I was like, 'Homegirl, if you don't step off I'm going to slap you.'"

I love people. And the Fourth of July.

Three more days until my birthday...

Heat Struck

Today I learned the importance of the words "hydration" and "dehydration." Turns out that one of them is very, very bad indeed, and that I suffer from it. Which one? I'll give you a hint: I didn't drown recently. Worry not--I'm working on fixing that. The dehydration, not the drowning thing. Creepy.

Nathan and I went to the Central Park Zoo and saw everything there in record time. My personal favorites were the harbor seals, which are so fat they have trouble stopping themselves from rolling around on the rocks. One seal, Herbie, was feeling rebellious; instead of coming up to be fed by the keeper, he insisted upon spinning repeatedly in the water.

And now, Overheard in New York: Rich Bitch edition.

Girl on Fifth Avenue Outside a Jewelry Store, to her Mother: "My ring looks like this. Mom! Seriously, you need to get your hearing checked. God!"

Tonight, a happy coincidence of mother-networking led Nathan and I to the People's Improv Theatre, a really sweet, well, improv theatre in Manhattan. One of their members, in fact, is the actress who plays Mel on "Flight of the Conchords." Cool. We saw a two-man sketch show called "Fantasy Airlines," which was so good it nearly made up for a certain horrible "sketch comedy" show we may or may not have seen at some point in the recent past. One of the members of this particular duo looked rather like a slightly less dashing Kevin Moore (but who could match up to Kevin, that sly fox). They pointed out an interesting fact during the show: Jamaica is, in fact, an island in the ocean *coughEvancough*. They also said that in French. Someone in New York is apparently in on all of FWP's inside jokes, because immediately after that I saw a sign in a drug store that said "Wrap it Up!" It was actually next to the bath gel, which caused me some confusion. Maybe that's what New Yorkers are into.

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, for anyone who doesn't own a calendar or who, like me, forgets what day it is. Stephen, Nathan and I are planning on going to Battery Park for the fireworks show in the evening. During the day I'm planning on getting sunburned. Hooray!

An emotional roller coaster

Today was glorious, but almost more than my tiny, cold heart could handle. Too many cute puppies, too many amazing facts about the world, etc. To kick this entry off, I present the first in what may be many installments of "Overheard in New York." Today: Father and Son edition.

Father in Museum of Natural History, to Son: "See, you always hurt me with those snide comments and criticisms."
Son to Father: "Well, if you'd just listen..."

Different Father on Street, to Son: "When I make my first seventeen million, I'll give a dollar to you." *author's note: cheapskate.*

Nathan and I spent the vast majority of the afternoon (five hours, in fact) in the American Museum of Natural History. We attempted to see everything, for some reason, and were almost successful. Which means I now know just about all there is to know about the natural world. Or at least have an extensive knowledge of dioramas. Also, that one guy from every astronomy video ever was there, filming something else for either NOVA or another astronomy video. I forget his name, but he's the one who always comes on "The Colbert Report." Like, we just watched him last week. I walked through his video today, in fact. Oops.

The emotional roller coaster of the title refers to "Wall-E," which Nathan, Stephen and I saw tonight. I laughed. I gasped. I gazed in wonder. And, for large portions of the movie, I cried. Copious amounts. And I am not a pretty crier.

It was awesome. Everyone go see it.

Special awards today go to the fine people who put together the special "Horse" exhibit at the museum, the people at Pixar, and that one really cute dog I saw pooping on the sidewalk. Points deducted from the guy who almost killed me today when he abruptly stuck out his arm directly in front of my jugular to tap his friend on the other side of me. A-hole seems the appropriate term.

Nathan's addition: "Sarah is hot." I am not just making this up.

I dote on NYC.

"Dote" has apparently re-entered the lexicon in a most unexpected fashion: in girly-girl uptown slang. While walking down Fifth Avenue today, we overheard a blonde on a cell phone saying, "He's like, totally doting on her." Who knew.

To go back a step: I'm currently in New York City, during our one-week hiatus from Formerly Witty's world tour. Actually, I'm literally right across the street from the Empire State Building. This is where I am staying. I am not making this up. My boyfriend and I are being classy people for the week (or we're at least pretending). Hooray!

A special shout-out/gold star/medal of honor goes to my girl Evan Charles for driving me to the Ottawa airport at a truly thankless hour of the morning. I promise coffee and/or baked goods in return.

Nathan (the aforementioned b.f.) and I had a lovely day today, going up the Empire State Building, wandering around Times Square, and generally getting re-acquainted with the city (we've both visited before, but not for awhile). We also met up with Stephen, our friend who goes to NYU, and ate wonderful Indian food. I am loving this break.

Also, I saw a very sweet little dachshund puppy in the park this evening. Stephen and Nathan didn't find it as important as I did. But oh well.

To my Canadian friends: happy Canada Day!

To everyone else: happy day!